Once again, the time has come to look ahead to end of the year and start planning on ways to end it better than it started. Inevitably the turn of the season and the start of the Holiday rush brings about intense emotions. This year it seems like compounding concern after compounding concern have relentlessly forged their way into our daily lives, and most people are in some way experiencing a feeling of grief as a general undertone of the times. If you are one of those people, you are not alone.

Grief is a tricky lesson that is never learned the same way twice or lets us come out unscathed. Every person manages each experience of grief their own way, depending on the context of what is being mourned. Some say there are two distinctive ways in which people grieve: to grieve intuitively or to grieve instrumentally.

Intuitive grieving is exactly as it sounds—it is to lean into the feeling that is being experienced and to demonstrate it in a consistent and predictable way. Individuals experience and express their grief primarily through affect. Sadness equals tears.

An instrumental grieving style is “less likely to express emotion and often desire to rather master their feelings developed from the loss as well as master their surrounding environment.” Individuals pour their grief into something, like exercise, art, or a foundation.

Blended grieving is somewhere in the middle area between extreme intuitive grieving and extreme instrumental grieving. This is where most people reside; however, no two losses are alike. Allowing openness and self-compassion, to learn how your grief forms, is an important part of letting go and building a life around it. Pour energy into things that make you feel like you make a difference, talk to people that care for you, enjoy some time of solitude, and get out in nature and smell autumn air. That way there is room for a fresh perspective.

If you or someone you know is struggling, reach out to 800.678.6265 or EAP@osumc.edu to use your Ohio State Employee Assistance Program (EAP) benefit. For immediate assistance, call the national the suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.